Weight Loss Inspiration from another crafter
Posted by Dianette "Jany" Seda en 17 noviembre 2008
This post is long and not craft related. I did have a card to share today, but I haven’t yet posted it because THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR ME. I need it in a place I can read it every time I want. This is such a place. I can reach my blog from anywhere.
There’s a crafter I found just recently and that is quite amazing. She have beautiful creations and challenges and one she went through (actually two) in real life. She’s Lauren Meader. By clicking over her name you will go directly to the entry I’m refering to. I found her blog and she already had the current picture in her blog. I never thought she would be over 25. She looks young and beautiful (she’s young, but looks younger than I am and she’s actually older).
Anyway, in that post she shared what gained her the pounds, how she lived with it and what motivated her to lose the weight. It was all for herself! In my case, I was lean while growing up. I needed to move back with my mother after years living with my grandparents and the lifestyle wasn’t the same. I would go out of home early in the morning, most of the time without breakfast (while in my grandma’s that wouldn’t happen ever, no matter what) and then I hated from the very begining the food from school so I wouldn’t eat lunch. Sometimes I would eat it if it looked appealing but that rarely occured. My mom didn’t gave me money for school except for what I would need for transportations. Sometimes I would walk to school from the house that used to “take care of me” while I would “watch small children” (that might have something to do with my aversion to kids now, I was only 14) and I would save that money to eat at school. The woman there might do me a nice sandwich or “heat” some leftovers from the day before.
In that house there were roaches everywhere. The food from the day before would be on the stoves and would not be stored for “germs saftety” or whatever. So, I would rarely eat there. IF I saved my money, since I just had about a $1 or less to eat I would buy a sandwich that would cost $.50 and a freeze for $.25 and would save that other quarter for another ocassion. From time to time the girls at school would want to go eating pizza (mostly on Fridays) and I hated not going all the time because I didn’t have the money. Ohh and that would be if I didn’t need to use the money for the trip back. (It was $.45 per way and it would be 35 minutes walking) If that was the case I would buy a 7oz cup with fries and melted cheese (sometimes bacon too at an extra cost) that costed by then $.25 and the freeze.
I would get home around 7 pm to cook because I learned at an early age and my mom didn’t know to cook. So the food would be ready around 8 pm. I didn’t (you might guess) study for my classess at all. If there was homework I would take about 30 minutes before starting school to do it from a friend’s notebook. They did know why I didn’t study, so they helped me. It wasn’t because I didn’t know the answers. I was one of the best grades in my classes. Summers I would loose part of the weight because I loved to do aerobics. When I first moved with my mom I went to gym with a friend of her that was an aerobic teacher. But once classes started my mom would not pay membership and I wasn’t allowed there anymore (I was a minor).
That was in 8th grade. By my 9th grade graduation I was about 200 lbs. Tried diets once I went to high school and lost a few pounds (went to 180-185) and kept that weight until I started college and broke up with my boyfriend. Oh and went to live alone. While living with my dad even with odd eating habits I didn’t weight that much. I went to a dietist when I felt bad with myself and went from 250 to 210! Yay for me! I couldn’t get the time off from work. I wasn’t able to cook that much (hate cooking for one!) and I was eating breakfast and lunch in weekdays, rarely dinner and nothing by weekends. I didn’t starve myself. I used to eat cereal the whole weekend (with milk and tons of sugar) and would eat soda crackers with lots of butter and diet coke. Just recently I moved from eating almost entirely “junk food” to Jenny Craig. It has worked. Not so with the anxiety areas or the “stressed” eating dissorder.
I’ve lost 15 lbs in two months. I know I can do better than that but I haven’t started yet. I’ve used many excuses not to start them. I know I need a “boost” of some kind and I might have found it. I printed the full 8 pages of what Lauren wrote in her post. Here are the answers to the questions she wrote about a blog she read. For me, I’m answering to her post and what a great motivation she is!
Why are you doing this?
Because I feel bad with myself. I don’t feel confident with my body and my mind is even worst. I would call me “fat” and “ugly” every time. I still feel, sometimes, like that. I hate to see my reflection in the mirror and I din’t care to even select the clothes I would use because I “knew” that everything would look horrible in me. I got tired of hating myself and hearing everyones lies that I looked good for a “fattie”. etc. I used to love photo sessions with my boyfriend because in some shots I would look oh so different and sexy. I wanted to be “that woman” all the time.
What is your purpose or desire for changing yourself?
Being able to look at ME. Not only my physical appearance but to recover those desires to dress up and to appear natural and beautiful. I want to feel good about me and my body.
What is your ideal vision of yourself?
I would love to look more of my age and less “older”. I’ve had this problem since I was a child. Yes, I do look young but not my age. I would like to look “sexy” (what girl doesn’t?) appealing to my partner.
What past limiting beliefs have stood in your way?
Actually, with the depression I’ve had for years I never thought it was worth. I would eat out of necessity and would sleep or not out of boredom. I didn’t want to keep on living and so my weight didn’t matter at all.
Current decisions are based in my home and environment. My house wouldn’t stand a high impact or dinamic aerobic section, and the DVD I’ve own for years and which I just love too much to give up is TaeBo Flex. I used it a few times and I would tone and lose inches quite amazingly. I wouldn’t lose weight because I was gaining muscle tho.
What are you committed to doing to relieve those beliefs?
I’m trying to ignore my depression as much as I can. I don’t have break from work to keep going to my psychiatry sessions but I would love to. That helps my mood swings quite a lot. I don’t have medication coverage and it is quite hard to buy my meds. So, I’ve been living without them. It was almost $200 for one month.
I’m trying to keep my mind busy with new projects, etc. so I can focus less in food and cravings. I get quite hungry if I’m not.
I try to get a little more active standing. I spend 9.5 hours working seated, plus the driving time, plus the crafting time that is seated, plus the sleeping time that’s lying down. So, too many hours seated and sedentary that is not good at all for my core.
What was your defining moment of needing a change?
When I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing a swimsuit, not even with shorts, anymore. When I would feel uncomfortable in the intimacy with my partner. When I would feel nauseated at looking at me (even dressed) in the mirror. When I would start calling me names, none pleasant, and feeling like a complete foreigner inside my body.
Then get that photo and start that journal
I have that pic! I have it right here! I’m carrying on a scrapbook of it. My journal is this one, right here with my crafting and all that is about me.
1. Reach the 20 lbs. lost goal
2. Start exercising.
3. Fitting in smaller sizes (clothes fit me better but haven’t reach a smaller size yet).
4. Losing increments of 20 lbs. until my final goal of 133 or even better 123! I’m okay with 125.
Thanks for reading,
Your TAC Demo